


The Lifeson Prize

by sodium_amytal



Category: Rush (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dimension Travel, M/M, twist ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodium_amytal/pseuds/sodium_amytal
Summary: AU. 2011. Presented for your consideration, the case of Mr. Geddy Lee, a man who has lived fifty-eight lonely, unhappy years. He is a bachelor with few friends, hopelessly pining for his best friend Alex, who is happily married and oblivious to the feelings that have burned a hole inside of Geddy for over three decades. In a moment Geddy will have an opportunity to travel to another universe, a universe where his life unfolded perfectly. A world too incredible to be real, too real to be a dream.





	

_Presented for your consideration, the case of Mr. Geddy Lee, a man who has lived fifty-eight lonely, unhappy years. He is a bachelor with few friends, hopelessly pining for his best friend Alex, who is happily married and oblivious to the feelings that have burned a hole inside of Geddy for over three decades. In a moment Geddy will have an opportunity to travel to another universe, a universe where his life unfolded perfectly. A world too incredible to be real, too real to be a dream._

* * *

Geddy is awakened by his cell phone chirping from the night stand. He groans, weary and half-asleep, and gropes for the infernal device. The screen nearly blinds him, displaying Alex's name and ridiculous selfie ID.

There's no good reason for Alex to call him at 9 in the morning.

Geddy presses the 'answer' button. "What?" he grumbles through his sleep-coated throat.

"You know how I've always been saying I'm a genius and you never believed me?"

"That doesn't sound like me." Geddy has always supported Alex's inventions, from the bizarre to the brilliant. Hell, Geddy was the one who financially backed Alex's attempt at creating a holodeck, even though Geddy fucking _knew_ the dangers of a holodeck were clearly illustrated in a Star Trek episode.

"Whatever," Alex says. "You need to come over. I invented a machine that's gonna change the entire world. They're gonna name the Nobel Prize after me."

"The Lifeson Prize doesn't quite have the same ring to it."

"Just get over here, Dirk." Alex hangs up before Geddy can protest.

Well, then.

Geddy doesn't have anything better to do today—ah, the joys of living alone—so he gets dressed and makes the ten-minute drive to Alex's house. Geddy forgoes the front door, knowing Alex is in his workshop.

The workshop looks more like the shitty garage of a hoarder than a proper workspace. There are shelves stacked up to the ceiling, stuffed with boxes of miscellany and tools and pieces of failed or repurposed inventions. There's a corkboard on the wall plastered with blueprints and a few photos of his family. His desk is covered in toolboxes and various machinery.

Alex's smile is bright and brilliant when Geddy steps through the workshop door. "Ged, you perfect, amazing human being. Do you know how special you are? You're the first person to see this life-changing device—"

"You didn't show Charlene?"

"I don't think she's here."

"Her car's gone."

"Then she must be at brunch with some friends. God, is it Saturday already? I've been awake for thirty-six hours," Alex says with an edge of almost-manic laughter.

"Maybe you should sleep."

Alex makes a scoffing noise like that's ridiculous. "No, no, you need to see this." He scurries to his desk and moves various objects aside. When he turns around, he's holding what looks like a digital watch. "So you know about the multiverse, right?" Before Geddy can answer, Alex goes on: "How there's an infinite number of universes parallel to our own? There's a universe where you didn't show up this morning, a universe where we never met, a universe where you actually got married and had a family."

Geddy scowls. "Infinite. I get it."

"This little doo-dad"—Alex holds out the device, which, upon closer inspection, really looks like a wristwatch—"can take you to any of them."

Geddy lifts an eyebrow. "And you've tested this?"

"Not on my own. God, no. I sent the Lerxstbot."

The Lerxstbot is a robot Alex built in the mid '80s to serve as a lab assistant. Over time, he installed more high-tech features into the 'bot—a camera, wi-fi, a speech chip, plus a dozen others Geddy probably doesn't even know about. It's the Swiss Army knife of robots.

"I put the teleporter on him, programmed it for a random universe, set a thirty-minute timer, and switched on his video camera," Alex explains. He reaches underneath his desk and heaves the Lerxstbot onto the table. "You won't believe what he captured!"

"I think you've been reading too many internet news article headlines," Geddy says, but he follows Alex to the table so he can see the video recording displayed on the 'bot's built-in screen.

The video quality isn't perfect—it looks like it was shot on a cell phone camera—but it's clear and crisp enough to get the point. Onscreen, standing on a concert stage in front of possibly thousands of people, are three men, two of which look frighteningly like Alex and Geddy.

Okay, so they _are_ Alex and Geddy. Alternate universe versions of them who are clearly amazing, proficient musicians, because Alternate Alex is making that guitar his bitch. The drummer, positioned behind them, is a stranger to Geddy, but he's encased in a drum set that looks more like a drum jail, banging away at the skins with practiced furor. And apparently Alternate Geddy can sing and play bass simultaneously?

Jesus, he can barely hold a conversation while driving in this universe. Is this the grand spectacle his life could have been? Who did he piss off in a past life to end up here, working a dead-end, soul-sucking job as a paralegal at his brother's law firm, and pining over his best friend—a married man—for almost forty years?

He's calling bullshit on his entire life. Can he get a do-over? He'll do it right this time.

"So I guess in every universe, you're still the most brilliant, accomplished person I know," Geddy says.

"Really? 'Cause that drummer is on fire."

Geddy laughs, and they end up watching the entire thirty-minute recording, transfixed by their alternate selves. There's a decent amount of disassociation involved, because, on some level, Geddy knows the guy onscreen who looks and sounds exactly like him _isn't_ him. Just a carbon copy composed of hydrogen and oxygen atoms with entirely different memories and ambitions. Does Musician Geddy lie awake at night wishing he'd told Alex how he felt before Alex got married? Does he have a family of his own? Are his parents still living, able to see their son's magnanimous success?

It can't be him, because it doesn't think and feel like him.

"God, is this still the same song?" Geddy wonders about twenty minutes in.

"Yeah, I think so."

"We're really pretentious."

Alex grins. "Who cares? It works," he says, eagerly shutting off the video. "I made a fucking teleportation machine—to other universes!"

"How does it actually work? Because it looks like a watch."

"'Cause that's what I made it out of." Alex picks up the device and tilts it so Geddy can see the display. "It's kinda like the GPS on your phone. You just touch the screen and type in coordinates to and from, then set a timer—if you want—and press the green button on the side."

Geddy stares at the numbers onscreen, the temptation of a better life at his fingertips.

"If you're wearing it, I think you'll go into your own body in that universe. It didn't work the first couple times I tried with the Lerxstbot, then I realized that's 'cause he's inorganic. So I gave him some of my DNA—"

Geddy makes a face.

"Hair samples, Ged. You're so gross." Alex laughs. "So he was able to 'find' my location, if that makes sense. I'm guessing the more genetic material you have, the closer you get to that person, unless you _are_ them, in which case you just jump into their body."

"But you haven't tested any of this?"

"It's all theory. But it's still pretty amazing. Think of what you could do with just sending robots into other universes to gather data!"

"I wanna go."

Alex opens his mouth, closes it, blinks like Geddy's gone out of his mind. "What?"

"I wanna try it," Geddy says, wiggling the watch in his hands. "I'll be your test subject."

"You could die! Ged, by design, teleporters like this disassemble and reassemble matter molecule-by-molecule. Which is fine for a robot that has no soul—sorry, Lerxstbot—but with a person that means making a copy, like a fax machine. It would just grab molecules out of the air and reassemble you; the original Geddy would be destroyed the moment you pressed that button."

"So?" Geddy shrugs. "The only version of me who would know I 'died' would already be dead. Copy Me would think everything worked fine."

Alex sighs, rubbing his temples. "Your suicidal determination is giving me a headache."

"No, that's thirty-six hours with no sleep." Geddy lays a hand on Alex's arm. He wonders if the touch burns Alex's skin like it does Geddy's own. "You need rest."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead! But, no, actually, sleep sounds really good right now."

Geddy leads Alex out of the workshop and into the house. He knows Alex's house almost as intimately as his own, having been a regular visitor here for the past twenty years since Alex moved in. He guides Alex up the stairs, past the collection of framed family photographs on the wall that burn Geddy like a crucifix to a vampire, past Alex and Charlene's wedding photo and pictures from their vacations in Vancouver and Miami and New York.

They get upstairs into the bedroom, and Geddy graciously turns away when Alex strips out of his jeans and into pajamas. "So I wanna figure out how to teleport to specific universes," Alex says while Geddy leans against the doorframe and stares intently at the hallway. He's not at all imagining what Alex looks like in his underwear. Nope. Not one bit. "Like how do I take a peek at the one where the US didn't drop bombs on Japan? Or the one where dinosaurs still exist?"

"You'll figure it out. You're the smartest person I know." Geddy smiles despite himself. "But I think you'd wanna send the Lerxstbot to the dinosaur universe. Just as a safety precaution."

"Would a dinosaur eat a robot?" Alex wonders. "Or would it just be really confused?"

"Are you decent?"

"Yeah." Geddy hears the snap of elastic as Alex pulls on his sweatpants. When he turns around, Alex is crawling into the huge, luxurious bed he shares with his wife. Geddy feels a rip of longing, as though his heart has been snagged by a fish hook and an overeager fisherman is reeling him in. What he wouldn't give to slide into that bed with Alex and just sleep with him. Nothing sexual. Just tender intimacy.

"Well, I'll let you sleep," Geddy says, edging out of the room. "Enjoy your nap."

"I will." Then: "Hey, do you think there's a universe where you and I are married?" Alex laughs like it's a punchline, and Geddy discovers there are parts of his heart still able to be broken.

"Anything's possible, right?"

And Geddy's going to find out.

* * *

It can't be that hard. Sure, there are infinite universes, but if Geddy's going to travel to ones where he exists, that cuts out a lot of potential destinations. One of those has to be better than the one he's living in now. And if it's not, all he has to do is press a button until it is.

Geddy's in the workshop, trying to figure out the settings on the watch-turned-teleporter. Alex said it worked like a GPS device, so Geddy doesn't mess with the numbers in the "from" category; presumably those correspond to this current universe, and he'd like an 'undo' switch in case things go haywire. He has no idea where to start in regards to his destination, so he presses the 'randomize' button a few times to jumble the numbers.

He deletes the settings in the timer field, because as long as he's wearing the watch he can come back anytime.

The green button means 'go,' right?

Geddy takes a deep breath and presses the button. For a second, nothing happens. Then he's sucked into blackness interspersed with dreamlike flashes: the brilliant greens of a golf course, the crashing of waves against the shore. He sees brief flickers of children in various stages of growth, a small outdoor wedding ceremony, Alex looking breathtaking in a tuxedo, and before Geddy can even gasp he's tripping into the dark again.

* * *

Geddy wakes with a jolt in an unfamiliar bedroom. Sunlight pours in through a window above a reading nook. The walls are a soft pastel blue with crisp white wainscoting. Through the window, Geddy sees water and trees.

There's a bedside table with a small lamp, Geddy's glasses, and a framed photograph perched atop two paperback novels. The picture is a recent photo of Geddy and Alex on some sort of vacation; Geddy's hair is tied back, and Alex is making a goofy face at the camera as he takes the picture and Geddy is laughing at him. But what stuns Geddy most is that he's wearing a silver ring on his left hand in the photograph.

Geddy withdraws his own hand from underneath the pillow. There it is, gleaming in the light. A silver wedding band on his third finger.

This can't be real.

This has to be real, because Geddy can smell the scent of fresh linens and Alex's goddamn cologne and hear the soft chirp of birds outside the windows and feel the eight-thousand thread-count sheets against his skin.

The teleportation bracelet is still latched around his wrist. He takes it off and gingerly places it on the night table. Knowing his luck, he'd accidentally press something and get sent back to his old life, a life where he doesn't get to wake up in bed with Alex.

Alex.

Geddy rolls over, hoping the solid warmth against his back is Alex. And Geddy's dreams have come true, because Alex is lying there, turned on his side, sleeping soundly. Geddy pushes himself up on his elbows, sits up a little so he can peer over Alex's form and catch a glimpse of his hands. They're tucked under the pillow, so Geddy can't determine with any real certainty that they're married to each other.

Though the evidence is really piling up.

He settles back into the bed, cautiously getting an arm around Alex's middle and burying his face in the back of his neck. Alex's hair smells like coconut, his skin baby-soft.

Alex stirs, and Geddy holds his breath, fearing any movement might break this tenuous bubble of perfection. But Alex just shifts and murmurs, "Ged," in a low, half-asleep voice that makes Geddy's heart trip over its beats.

"You're awake?"

"Barely." Alex yawns and rolls over so he's facing Geddy.

Geddy has imagined this scenario too many times to count, but the fantasy pales in comparison to the reality in front of him. Alex's face is even more beautiful up close when he's lying side by side with Geddy, his hair mussed in a way that suggests they had sex last night. Or maybe that's just how his hair looks when he wakes up.

"You're beautiful," Alex says, his perfect lips curved into a smile, and Geddy actually glances over his shoulder to see who Alex might be talking to, because it's definitely not him. Geddy has never been beautiful by any set of standards, and Alex, as the most handsome man in the entire world, could have anyone he wants. There's no way he would settle for Geddy.

But Alex just smiles and moves in closer, capturing Geddy's mouth underneath his own. Geddy gasps a sound of surprise around the kiss, and Alex pulls away.

"What, you want me to brush my teeth first?"

"No, I just—You're so—How did I get so lucky?"

"Beats me," Alex says before stealing another kiss, and Geddy's not going to push him away this time. "I ask myself that same question every day." Alex pushes a hand into Geddy's hair, fingers tight and needy.

It takes Geddy a moment to shake off the daze and remind himself that he's allowed to touch Alex too. He fists a hand in the front of Alex's t-shirt, lets his fingers fan out over the breadth of his chest. Alex's mouth is soft and sweet, and he's an amazing kisser, just like Geddy always imagined. Alex pushes a hand inside Geddy's pajamas, underneath his boxers, clutching his ass like a drowning man grabs a life preserver.

Geddy makes an obscene noise into Alex's mouth. Alex grins and rolls them over so his knees are on either side of Geddy's hips, his hand still wrapped around his ass.

"Did you just get outta prison?" Geddy asks.

Alex laughs. "When are you gonna accept that I'm crazy about you?"

"I think you're just crazy."

Alex lifts Geddy's wrist to his mouth and places a tender kiss there. "Oh sweet, self-deprecating Dirk."

Great, so Geddy's a neurotic self-conscious mess in this universe too. Awesome.

"You've been telling me that for thirty years," Alex says, kissing his way down Geddy's arm.

"And you haven't listened." Geddy's falling into this role like he was born for it. The only thing that would have made his friendship with Other Alex stronger was intimacy like this.

"I don't listen to unsolicited medical advice."

Alex's touch ignites Geddy's blood, and Geddy feels his body stir in ways he never imagined possible, nerves wound up tight and taunt. He takes Alex's face in his hands and guides him back to his mouth, because he'll never get tired of kissing Alex, and he's not sure how long he'll get to do it.

Alex hums around his mouth and guides his hands along the length of Geddy's body, warm palms skimming over his sides, thumbs teasing his nipples, before Alex pulls Geddy's t-shirt over his head. Then Alex's mouth is on him again, nipping at his bottom lip before suckling at a spot on his neck that makes Geddy groan out a noise he'll be embarrassed about later. Or never, because it seems to turn Alex on, if the moan he smothers into Geddy's shoulder is any indication.

It's probably a safe bet that Geddy can touch Alex. He lets his hand drift down until Alex pushes into it and nudges his erection into Geddy's palm. He's already hard in his sweatpants, and Geddy can't decide what to do first with Alex's cock: suck it, stroke it, or let Alex fuck him until he's sore and shaking.

Alex decides for him, his warm, massive hands pushing inside of Geddy's underwear and easing them over his hips. Geddy's dick—already hard by nature of the hour and Alex's teasing touch—stiffens almost painfully at the feather-light skim of Alex's fingertips against the outside of his thighs. His legs open as if possessing a mind of their own, ready for whatever Alex wants to do.

This is the hottest thing Geddy's ever been involved in. Alex is here, in his marital bed, kissing him and touching him and _in love_ with him, and it fills Geddy up with so many emotions he doesn't know how he's containing them all.

Alex gets his hand slick with a bottle of lube from the bedside table, then wraps his fingers around Geddy's cock. Geddy squirms and gasps like it's the first time he's ever been touched, his hips lifting off the bed to push into the careful stroke of Alex's hand. Alex's breathing a little heavier, like he's getting off on this too. His thumb tweaks and teases the head, playing with the slit at the tip, and Geddy groans a long shuddery noise.

"Alex," he sighs, because Alex is really touching his cock, and this isn't one of Geddy's many fantasies to get him through the lonely nights. "Alex," he says again, his heels sliding over the sheets.

"You're so perfect like this," Alex murmurs, tracing his thumbnail over the vein in Geddy's cock, then he's rubbing two slippery fingers at his hole, and Geddy comes with a shout, one hand flying up to stifle the sound as his orgasm shoots in long wet stripes over his stomach.

Alex chuckles, his fingers still touching him there in that tender spot, and Geddy thinks he's either going to come again or die. "That didn't take very long, huh?"

Oh God, of course Geddy's boundless attraction to Alex would humiliate him even in a universe where he's married to the guy. Geddy feels his face go hot, and he contemplates smothering himself with a pillow. "Sorry. I couldn't—you're just so..."

"Ged, do you have any idea how hot that is? That you're still so attracted to me you can't last longer than a minute or two?"

Geddy doesn't hear any sarcasm in Alex's voice, but that doesn't mean it isn't there, hidden under layers of sincerity. "Obviously not."

"Honestly, it's better than marathon sessions, 'cause I'd be worried I was doing something wrong if you hadn't come after, like, an hour." Alex smiles, and Geddy squirms under the curious press of his fingers.

"Or maybe we've been doing this so long you know all the shortcuts," Geddy says, subtly probing for a hint as to how long they've been together.

"Maybe! It's been, what, forty years?" Alex laughs.

This is the universe where Geddy's life made all the right turns. Judging by the bedroom's décor, he's either rich, or Alex is, or maybe they both are, and they are happy together. What the fuck did he do in a past life to deserve the universe where he's fifty-eight years old and still pining for his straight best friend?

"Too long," Geddy says, and he doesn't mean a word of it.

* * *

They stay in bed for a long time, touching and kissing and stroking and rubbing until they can't take any more. Alex lies beside him, arm curled around Geddy's shoulders as they stare glassy-eyed at the ceiling.

"Don't you have anything better do to than screw me?" Geddy teases, tracing a fingertip around Alex's navel. He'd like to know what it is they actually _do_ in this universe—besides each other—but there's no way to ask that question directly without sounding like someone with a severe case of amnesia.

"Nope. I'm living the dream."

"Are you sure it's not a nightmare?" There is no way Alex genuinely finds a lifetime of giving Geddy orgasms fulfilling in any way.

Alex chuckles in that adorable, closed-mouth way of his. "Shut up, you're great. I'm the one who should feel self-conscious. Look at me." He gestures to his stomach. "I'm the fattest person I've ever seen."

Geddy shifts so he can look at Alex's face. "You're the sexiest person _I've_ ever seen. And you're the only one I've ever wanted to be with." The words flow out before he can stop them, a torrent of emotion held at bay for almost forty years. "The first time I saw you, I knew I would love you forever. And I have. And I'm so deeply grateful that you love me too."

Is Geddy the type to spill out saccharine fluff like this? That's probably something he should be worried about, but Alex just smiles sheepishly and says, "Are we renewing our vows right now?" He slides a hand along Geddy's arm. "You're not usually this sappy."

Geddy blushes. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize for anything. You're perfect." Alex kisses Geddy's forehead, then his mouth, before slowly sitting up. "You want breakfast? I'm starved."

* * *

Alex is a magnificent cook in this universe, whipping up a lavish breakfast casserole in their spacious kitchen. Geddy didn't know kitchens could be this huge. The walls and cabinets are a calming cream color, the floorboards a smooth blond wood. There's an island in the middle with a bowl of bright green apples sitting on the marble-top.

Geddy's still wondering what their lives are outside of each other, but he passed by some trophies and framed plaques in the hallway that suggest one of them might be a professional golfer. He's willing to accept fluorescent-hued clothing if it means a happy marriage to Alex.

"Oh, hey," Alex says, as though remembering something, "your son called last night while you were asleep."

"My son?" Geddy sputters, trying to sound like he isn't hearing for the first time he has progeny.

Alex has a smile in his voice when he says, "You know Julian prefers you over me. It's those damn Weinrib genes. I never had a chance."

Geddy is lost in the intricacies of this new, fascinating reality. He has a son. An actual flesh-and-blood person with half his genes.

"What did he want?" Geddy asks, finding his voice from where it's crawled into his gut.

"He said thanks for the wine, and he landed safely in Hawaii."

"Hawaii?"

"For the honeymoon." Alex chuckles and slides the casserole dish into the oven. "We were at the wedding yesterday, babe. Are you going senile on me already?" He shuts the oven door and leans on the island. "I always thought I'd be the one to lose my mind first 'cause of all the pot I smoked back in the day."

"How do you know you didn't?" Geddy jokes, still reeling from the news that he has a son who's legally an adult. If Julian is at least eighteen, that means he was born when Geddy was forty-one. In the "real" universe, forty-one-year-old Geddy was slogging through failed relationships and trying to find someone he could settle for.

"'Cause I forget things like putting the toilet seat down and getting milk at the supermarket. You're the one forgetting your own kid's honeymoon." Alex grins at him. "You're so old."

"We're the same age."

"You're older than me by almost a month. Still counts." Alex sticks his tongue out at him and quickly regains his flirty smirk. "We've got forty minutes 'til that comes out," he says, tipping his head in the direction of the oven. "Wanna fool around?"

Geddy bites down on his urge to yell "Yes!" and jump Alex's bones right here in the kitchen, sanitization be damned. "I thought I wore you out," he teases.

"Not possible." Alex swings around the side of the island and skims a hand up Geddy's arm. "And being at Julian's wedding yesterday reminded me of our wedding and how much I love you."

Geddy snorts a laugh. "You don't have to sweet-talk me. I'm all yours."

Alex practically carries Geddy upstairs to their bedroom. His hands roam over Geddy's skin, pushed underneath his t-shirt, and Geddy presses himself into Alex like he's trying to crawl through him. Alex kisses him with rough nips at his mouth, his chin, his earlobe. Lust and love and desire explode like a flashbang inside of Geddy, and he's clawing at Alex's t-shirt, desperate to feel all of him.

Alex moves him toward the bed, edging a thigh between Geddy's legs and nudging his erection. Geddy sighs against his eager mouth, fingers weaving into the thinning hair at the top of Alex's head. "Will you hear the timer from up here?" Geddy asks around frantic kisses. "Or are you depending on the smoke alarm?"

"Oh, ha-ha. I'll just use my phone." Alex fumbles blindly for a phone on the night table, and Geddy doesn't even realize how anxious he should be about this until Alex says, "Since when do they make FitBits as watches?"

Geddy freezes, his insides turning to ice, because Alex is holding the teleportation watch and eyeing it curiously.

"Be careful with that!" Geddy snatches the device out of Alex's hand, careful to avoid pressing the green button.

"You really have to stop buying expensive, pointless gadgets." Alex smiles, and before Geddy can stop him, his perfect, nimble fingers are tripping over the sides of the watch, pressing buttons, and Geddy's falling back into the darkness.

* * *

"Goddamnit!"

Geddy is back in Alex's workshop, which means he's back in his shitty, empty life. Only two hours have passed since he arrived in that heavenly universe, but it felt like the blink of an eye, gone too soon.

Fuck. He needs to get back home.

Geddy presses the button again, and once more he's sucked through what looks like Star Trek's hyperspace before being spit out into a solemn-looking conference room in a high-rise building. He's sitting at a polished oak table, and there's no ring on his finger. Just a tan line where a ring had once been.

Sitting in one of the many vacant chairs at the table is a professionally-dressed woman with blonde hair. Then the door to the room opens, and Alex steps inside, looking as beautiful as ever. But his lovely mouth is set in a stern, serious expression, very unlike what Geddy's used to seeing.

This isn't the right universe. The coordinates must have gotten jumbled.

Alex sits in one of the chairs—not beside Geddy—and Geddy catches a glimpse of his hands. No ring, but there's a tan line, too. Geddy's brain is still kicking on from his light-speed appearance into this Other Geddy's body, so he's not really focusing on any of the words the woman's saying, but he sees the papers in front of him and the big, bold letters coming together to spell "divorce" and, no, no, this isn't how things are supposed to go. What kind of bullshit universe is this? Don't show him paradise and then snatch it away.

Alex has already started signing the papers, like he can't wait to not be married to Geddy anymore, and Geddy feels a tight knot of tension and anxiety in his stomach. He should try to fix this. Maybe this universe's Geddy is an asshole, and Alex is right to want a divorce, but this Geddy is honest and loving and would sooner die than make Alex unhappy. All he wants is one chance to fix the damage done by that ungrateful dickhead sharing his name.

"Why are we doing this?" Geddy asks, his voice quiet but still too loud in the silent room. He looks at Alex, imploring, pleading. "I love you more than anything in the world. I can't lose you." Not again.

Alex glances away, as though Geddy's plea has pierced something inside of him and he can't deal with it. "I'm sorry, Ged. But this just isn't working. I don't wanna be married to you anymore."

Geddy's breath hitches in his chest, like he's just been stabbed. Hearing those words from Alex's lips is the worst sound in the world.

Fuck this universe.

Geddy presses the button.

* * *

He's driving now, down a familiar street. A glance at his hands on the steering wheel tells him he's married in this universe, too. He pulls into the driveway of his home. Alex's car is parked there. Geddy turns off the car and unlocks the front door.

Inside the house are framed photos of Geddy and Alex in various stages of their relationship. Geddy takes his time looking at each one, trying to jostle up memories that aren't there. Maybe it doesn't matter much that he has no recollection of their past; at least they can make new memories.

The house is still, the only sound the hum of the air-conditioner on this warm summer night. Geddy takes the staircase, admiring the family photos that line the wall. Their married life seems so happy and perfect, so it's rather startling to find Alex in their bedroom fucking someone who isn't Geddy.

Geddy stands frozen in the doorway, helpless to do anything but watch his husband have sex with a stranger. Except it's not a stranger, because Geddy sees thin, feminine fingers weave into Alex's hair, and he recognizes those long, ruby red nails as belonging to Charlene. The familiar voice moaning and gasping Alex's name is evidence against her, too.

It seems fitting that Alex would cheat on Geddy with the woman he married in an alternate universe, but blistering hot anguish rises up in Geddy's chest like mercury in a thermometer, and he's past the point of finding humor in this. Even in universes where he's married to Alex, life still finds a way to screw him over.

With a trembling hand, Geddy presses the button.

_Scene one, take three._

* * *

This time, he finds himself in a shoddy, run-down motel room. The duvet is gnarly and doesn't look like it's been washed since the 1980s. Even the furniture seems to be made of termite-gnawed wood, as though it might collapse at any second.

The first hint of unease takes hold of Geddy's insides. Is this the universe with Drug Dealer Geddy? Or maybe he's meeting with a policeman to inform on a mob boss. Or he's on a business trip for a really cheap company who clearly hates their employees if this is their idea of reimbursed lodging.

Geddy looks around the room for any clues as to why he's here. He doesn't see a suitcase, so he's probably not staying overnight. So, great, more evidence to the drug dealer and informant theories. He also seems to be married in this universe, judging by the ring on his finger, but the identity of his spouse is still a big question mark.

He's rifling through his pockets in search of his cell phone when there's a knock on the door.

With no real clue what he's here for, Geddy opens the door.

Immediately, the clues smack him like a two-by-four to the face. Standing there is Alex, who hurries inside and shuts the door. "Did anyone see you?" Alex asks.

_Please be an undercover cop gathering information on a mob boss._

"No," Geddy says, though it comes out like a question, because his brain is shielding him from the realization.

Alex places a gentle hand to the side of Geddy's face—there's a ring on his finger, too—and kisses him more tenderly than he has any right to. Geddy's heart drops into his stomach, though his hands reach out for Alex on instinct.

Why is this happening to him? Why can't he find that one perfect universe again? Hell, he'd settle for one with a bit of marital turbulence if it meant a chance at fixing it. Stumbling into worlds where they're cheating on or with each other is too cruel. Are there really that many heart-breaking realities for them?

By definition, the multiverse expands based on every possible choice, so, yeah, it makes sense that there's a universe where Alex and Geddy are cheating douchebags, but still. What magical combination of luck and fate teleported Geddy to that wonderful universe where everything went right?

Alex gets his arms around Geddy's waist, pulling him in. Geddy drapes his arms over Alex's shoulders and presses the button.

* * *

When Geddy arrives in the next universe, the watch gives up the ghost. The screen flickers before dying out, and Geddy panics, because he doesn't know how to fix this goddamn thing if it's broken. He presses one of the other buttons, trying to jar it back to life. The watch doesn't respond.

Terrified, Geddy tries the green button.

Nothing.

So he's stuck here. Wherever "here" is.

Okay, he'll make the best of it. Even if one or both of them are cheating, or if Alex wants a divorce, or even if they're married to entirely different people. Now that Geddy knows it's not out of the realm of possibility for them to be together, he'll make it work.

He's lying in bed in a house not dissimilar to the one in the perfect universe. It's less extravagant, but doable. The other side of the bed is empty, smoothed over and undisturbed. On the night table is a framed photo of Alex and Geddy looking blissfully in love. Geddy checks his hands. Married.

He kicks himself free from the blankets. Lying on the floor at the foot of the bed is an empty bottle of wine. There aren't any glasses—empty or otherwise—in the room. Geddy picks up the bottle and heads downstairs.

The rest of the house is empty. Alex must have gone to work already. Geddy tosses the bottle into the trash. There are more pictures of Alex on the refrigerator, some of him alone, others depicting him with Geddy. Some photos are of people Geddy doesn't know. They're young enough to be college-aged. Could they be Geddy and Alex's children?

On the kitchen counter are orange prescription bottles with Geddy's name on the labels. Some of the medications ring familiar—Lipitor, Ambien, clonazepam, Prozac?

So Geddy's a bit of a mess in this universe. He'll take it. He'll have to.

He doesn't have a clue what his job is here, but they'll probably call him if he doesn't show up, right?

Geddy spends the day watching TV, eagerly awaiting Alex's return. He gets marginally worried at six p.m. when Alex doesn't show, then his anxiety increases when Alex still isn't home by nine. If he was working extra hours, he would have let Geddy know.

Could something have happened to him?

Geddy doesn't even want to consider that.

No, if Alex had been in an accident or had a heart attack at work, someone would have contacted him. That's what happened when Geddy's mother passed.

Alex is probably on a business trip.

At the risk of sounding like a senile idiot, maybe Geddy should call Alex and find out for sure.

Geddy finds his cell phone, locates Alex's number and dials.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

The call goes to voicemail, and Geddy is met with Alex's perky greeting. "It's Alex Lifeson. You know what to do."

Beep.

"Hey, babe, it's me. I just, uh, wanted to hear your voice, I guess. Call me when you get a chance. Or text if you're busy... I love you."

Geddy hangs up and waits.

He wakes up the next morning on the couch, dazed and disoriented. The sun blares through the back windows, covering half the house in its glowing yellow laser beam. Geddy rubs his eyes and gropes for his glasses on the coffee table. Immediately, he checks his phone.

Zero new messages.

It's ten o'clock in the morning. Alex should have contacted him by now.

Maybe he's on a flight to Tokyo or something and isn't even capable of receiving messages, let alone responding to them. Maybe he lost or broke his phone. He could've dropped it in the toilet or sat on it. Cell phones are so fragile nowadays, nothing like the indestructible cement bricks they used to be.

Geddy decides to do some sleuthing.

He searches through his phone's address book for someone who might be able to shed some light on the situation. The name Julian snags Geddy's attention. That's his son, right? Julian would probably know where Alex is, or be able to point Geddy in the direction of someone who does know.

He dials the number, pacing mindlessly around the living room while he waits for an answer.

"Dad? Everything okay?"

An indescribable wave of emotion surges through Geddy at the sound of someone calling him Dad. His throat is suddenly tight. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just... This is probably a really stupid question, and I'm sure he told me and I just forgot. But, um, do you know where Alex is? He didn't come home last night, and I'm worried. Did he go on a business trip?"

Julian sighs, probably exasperated with his father's poor memory. "Dad, c'mon..."

"I know, I'm going senile," Geddy chuckles. "I'm sorry. You two can joke about it all you want."

"Pop died last year, Dad. He had a heart attack, remember?"

No. Not possible.

It's a joke. It has to be.

But it's the way Julian said it, his voice strained and small, and Geddy's shaking so badly the phone drops out of his hand, and he's sobbing and gasping and trying to catch his breath, because none of this is right.

He tries the watch again, frantic and fearful, desperate to escape this hell-hole universe where Alex's goodness has been snuffed out.

The watch is still broken.

And now, it seems, so is Geddy.

* * *

_Across state lines, foreign borders, or even dimensions, man creates his own personal heaven or hell. Just ask Mr. Geddy Lee, who chased the illusion of a perfect life across dimensions to wind up doomed to a purgatory of unfathomable loneliness. He has made his own bed and now must lie in it, sadder but wiser._


End file.
